Hi all! I’ve been living in Mexico for 11 years now (with some short breaks) and started to read Vicky’s blog in last April. I became a regular visitor of her site. I start my days with reading the newest posts because they fill me with energy and it is easier to survive the weekdays. Nowadays I dare to speak about my life and this can be thanked to this website. For the time being I do this anonymously. I am 29 and had a very poor childhood. I was given to a foster home when I was only 3 months old. My parents didn’t stepped out of my life but I had to live there. I had very hard times there for years. At an age of 12 I was raped several times and I felt ashamed of my body. I attempted suicide 6 times but somehow I always survived (it could be a wonder…). Now I know that I had to stay alive because I have tasks in my life. At an age of 17 I escaped from the foster home with a boy and started to take drugs. I was pregnant for 3 times and I aborted all of them. I stopped my studies at school and didn’t want to live. The boy took me to a very bad track but I was stocked to him. This could be due to the fact that I had nobody in my life previously. I was 17 when I was given a present for the first time in my life. I was crying for about 3 days I was so happy, but couldn’t express my real feelings. I didn’t understand how someone can love me. Finally, I got to Mexico and became a prostitute. I would lie if I would say that I hated this. Actually, I got love from people. I didn’t enjoy sex but loved to see how people take pleasure in being with me. They hugged me, gave me presents, and paid me very well. After some time, some people came only to talk to me. I had diseases several times, but I couldn’t imagine living a normal life. In last April I had very intense dreams. I was very happy in my dreams. I started to think about happiness and wanted to understand my dreams. This led me to find Vicky’s blog. I was reading it every night… It was shocking to realize that my soul wanted to have all these experience. I wanted to have all these because I knew that I am so firm to bear such trials and overcome my karma. I started to do meditations and felt better all the time. I was curious about the opportunity whether I can change my life. I could understand many things in my life but not all. In August I decided to fly back to Hungary and visit Vicky. We met every day for 3 weeks. It was a very intensive therapy. A lot of meditations with a couple of hard parts (e.g. to forgive people who hurt me). I had to forgive all my acts. I was crying for days and had headache. I also had to face things I did in my past lives. I killed people, hurt my children, mislead people, etc. in my past lives… so this is the reason I punished myself in this life. When I understood this I felt to be much lighter. My strong heart beats have stopped and felt myself much better. I have been a man in a lot of past lives and mortified women. This time this also came back… This is why I wanted to experience all these bad things in this life. As soon as I could face my past I could forgive the present. I know that Vicky had a hard time with me, because I was very doubtful, but finally I could realize the things in my life with her help. It turned out that I should deal with music in this life. I can’t sing but learnt to play piano in my childhood. After the 3 weeks I went back to Mexico with a great ease. I saw the entire world to be so colorful. People became friendlier with me. Since then I didn’t take drugs (6 months now) and stepped out of my relationship after 11 years. I was afraid of my partner because he is very aggressive. Despite he sad he understands my decision and gave me the half of our money. So I rented a flat and started to build up my new thoughts and I still had to cleanse myself. Since October I play piano again and prepare music for meditation cds. I was already offered a contract. Meanwhile I gave up meeting people for money, and my diseases have been cured. At Christmas I felt to be very well and healthy. There are still things to do, but now I feel that I am on the right way. I met a Hungarian boy. He is the first person in my life I can be honest with. Now I can accept his love and feel that I deserve it. The boy plans his future in Hungary so soon I have to decide to stay or go with him. But I am not worried since I know that happiness is within me and I can find it wherever I am. Thank you so much Vicky, I am very grateful to you! S.T.
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